sometimes i question myself about everything.
i test myself. push myself to see how far i can go before i break.
and lately, i've been doing it a lot.
i know im young, i have my entire life ahead of me.
but i feel this immense pressure to figure life out, settle down, be boring and start growing old.

i think its time that im ready to move. get out and experience new things.
stop being stuck in an unorganized routine of living day to day with nothing that excites me.

i know im just stuck.
but we all know how horrible i am at digging myself out.

blehhhh.

theres no use crying over spilt milk.

i don't know whats wrong with me.
im an emotional mess,
and a giant ball of stress.
im always moody,
and short tempered.
i need a change.

all of my life i have been horrible at making important decisions.
decisions that will affect my life scare the shit out of me.
the idea of applying to schools in a couple months makes me feel like im going to puke.
and i know drew wants to move.
i know he doesn't want to live in london, and would love to be in kitchener.
im scared to leave.
london is what i know .
but i feel trapped.
and i feel uninspired here
and i don't feel like i will be able to accomplish anything in a city that leaves me so un-enthused (sp?).

im rambling.
but i have to do it somewhere.

i need this

i need to be able to vent
and i need to be able to write.

i guess this is where thats going to happen.

oh, and keeping goolia updated because we don't get to talk as often as id like.

<3